My mother and my wife do not see eye to eye.

My mother and my wife do not see eye to eye. I married a woman two years older than me a year ago and my mother has not liked her since she discovered that she is a bit older than me. My wife has been avoiding my mother at all costs for the past six months. The last time we visited my mother they ended up exchanging words after my mother had accused her of forcing me into marriage.

She shouted back at her and asked whether she wanted to marry me herself, which has not gone down well with my mother. My mother expected me to divorce her after that, which I didn’t because I love my wife and feel she said that out of anger after being provoked. My wife on the other hand expects me to stop visiting my mother and caring for her like I always do. They are both making life difficult for me by expecting me to choose between them. What do I do? - Farai

My mother and my wife do not see eye to eye.
Dear Farai
You are the man in charge here and I believe you can make the two women in your life click. You need to set the conditions. You need to sit down with your mother and explain how much you and your wife love each other - despite the age difference, which is really of very little consequence.

Your mother needs to know that no one is going to influence you to separate from her. Let her know that she needs to accept your wife because she is the one you chose. Also sit down with your wife and make it clear to her that your mother is special to you and there is no way you are going to dump her. Tell your wife that she needs to get along with her mother-in-law because she is the woman who brought you to the world and raised the husband she loves today.

She is going to be a mother as well and she will be hurt to see her son being made to forget her by her daughter-in-law. Your wife and your mother need to respect each other and know that the sooner they do that the better for you, if they both love you. So, the ball is in your court, you wife is expecting you to forget your mother while your mother thinks you will leave your wife to please her. They both need to be assured that they are dreaming. The Zimbabwean

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